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| The Symptom |
| 01.23.04 (1:02 am) [edit] |
There are various things that happen to you now and again that you know are not normal, but you don't care... because they usually only turn up one and one, now and then. and only Sometimes...
But when you have these things... emptyness, foggynessm, poor impulse controle, when you loose hours... days.
When you cannot view your reality as anything but a dreamworld, and you don't know what's a dream and what's a memory.
Then you know you're crazy.
And you start thinking: what if I cannot be diagnonsensed?
What if people will tell me I'm just sad?
What if people reject me as an attentionseeker?
Will I survive that?
I'm scared to death.... because I putted the ball in motion.
Or, rather... the dry voice in the back of my head did.
The one that tells me I'm crazy.
Then there's the emptyness.... that emptyness that tells me that I'm weak, and that I am not crazy... because crazy people don't seek help.
That I have betrayed myself in the face of my own flaws and qualities....
What's real, and what's not?
Am I really her?
If I go up... will I fall down?
Am I crazy? Or am I insane?
Am I sick or am I just blue?
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